Trying to Act Normal When Life Is Anything But...

In February last year, I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. That moment, the words “you have cancer” felt like a death sentence.

Isn’t that where we all go to mentally? That cancer equals an expiration date? And when we hear it’s currently incurable, the frantic Google searches begin. Two years, five years, maybe ten if I’m lucky.

But that’s a statistic, not me. Those numbers don’t define my story.

This cancer hasn’t come up against me yet, 36-year-old, determined, resilient Kayleigh Wild. I’ve pushed through a disintegrated vertebrae, endured radiotherapy, chemotherapy, and now the relentless cycle of immunotherapy every other week. But that’s just my personal battle. Life doesn’t stop. I’m still a mother to a teenager who needs me more than ever as they navigate secondary school. I’m a partner in a household that relies on my structure and organisation (even though he'd never admit it). And then, on top of it all I have work.

Holding onto a career while cancer tries to take over

My job isn’t just a pay check. It’s something I’ve poured years of my life into blood, sweat, and tears. I’ve built a reputation, gained experience, and become the best I can be in my field. And now, suddenly, my body has other plans. The exhaustion is relentless. My mind, once sharp and dependable, sometimes lets me down. The frustration of knowing what you can do but being physically unable to do it is unbearable.

And the hardest part? No one really knows how to help.

There’s plenty of support out there, but very little for people like me, people who don’t want to surrender to this illness, who refuse to let it steal their identity. I’m not here for pity; I’m here for solutions. Yet, when I tried hospital counselling, I was met with an outdated system that didn’t fit me.

My counsellor told me I was too strong for their services. That I was “just getting on with it.” But inside, I was breaking. I was in one of the darkest places I’ve ever been. How is it okay that because I present as strong, I don’t get the same level of support? Strength doesn’t mean we don’t struggle.

The financial side no one talks about

One thing I never expected was how little financial support there is when you’ve worked hard and earned a good salary. The system seems to assume that if you were doing well before, you’ll be fine now. But cancer doesn’t just hit your health, it hits everything. Your energy, your ability to work, your whole way of life. And when you’re faced with the reality that the only real option is to not work… No. I wasn’t having that.

So, I made the decision to start my own business this year.

Now, I’m in total control. I can be flexible around my treatment, the side effects, the days I physically can’t get out of bed. It doesn’t mean the guilt isn’t there, though. The guilt of not being able to work the way I used to, of needing rest when my mind wants to push on, of wondering if I’m letting people down. But at least now, I choose how I navigate this. Cancer doesn’t get to make that decision for me.

The hidden battle of women fighting more than one war

As we approach International Women’s Day next week, I want to take a moment to recognise the incredible strength of women who are facing not only the everyday challenges of life but also fighting personal battles with illness, trauma, or adversity. These women are mothers, partners, employees, business owners, leaders, and friends, all while navigating the difficult terrain of their own health and body struggles.

They are warriors, showing up every day despite their bodies betraying them. They balance responsibilities, persevere through pain, and continue to serve others, all while carrying the weight of invisible battles.

To these women: you are extraordinary. You deserve more than just to survive, you deserve to thrive. You deserve better support, more resources, and greater recognition for the silent wars you fight every day.

To anyone out there holding it all together while your body fights against you, I see you. Your resilience is nothing short of remarkable. Keep pushing. Keep living. You are more than just a statistic, the world needs more of your strength and your story.

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